Our good friend Senator Edward Kennedy sent us a heartfelt auto-response electronic form letter this past July 18 regarding the situation in Iraq, “the most pressing problem facing our nation,” he declares. On this we agree. Senator Kennedy’s auto-response electronic form letter was in reply to my letter to the United States Senate dispatched April 30. Normally, one might expect an auto-response electronic form letter turnaround of slightly less than two and one-half months, particularly regarding, “the most pressing problem facing our nation.” But given this is Senator Kennedy with whom we are dealing, this is pretty much on par.

In his auto-response electronic form letter (below), the good Senator demonstrates that he completely ignored or failed to grasp not only the content of my letter, but the past sixteen years of global history as well. He is not alone in this. Therefore, I invite the good Senator, and all those in concurrence with him on matters regarding Iraq, to peruse my Iraq Invasion Anniversary Online Refresher Course (free of charge) for an in-depth review - first view for many - of the rationale behind Operation Iraqi Freedom. For those allergic to words, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow recently provided a concise and elegantly composed synopsis of the matter which we endorse whole heartedly.

Following is Senator Kennedy’s auto-response electronic form letter in its entirety with my non-auto response non-form commentary interspersed in bold.

Dear Mr.: (sic). No name. Always a nice touch when attempting to establish that interpersonal relationship.

Thank you for your letter on the situation in Iraq. (You’re welcome. I had hoped, of course, you might actually read it but …) It’s the most pressing problems facing our nation, (Agreed) and I appreciate this opportunity to share my views. (Yes, but by all means Senator, take your time!)

I, and all Americans, support our troops. (Yes and as they say, with friends like you, who needs enemies?) They’ve fought and continue to fight bravely, and we owe them an extraordinary debt of gratitude. (Here, here!) Unfortunately, the President has failed to give our troops a policy worthy of their sacrifice. (American troops never have and never will sacrifice “for a policy.” They are sacrificing for the safety, security, and interests of the United States of America; small point of differentiation there.) He failed them when he sent them into a misguided war (yes we all prefer those “guided” wars don’t we? Much less chaotic and bloody) without a plan to win the peace. (I believe “victory” is the word Senator, as in victory = peace.) He failed them when he sent them into battle without adequate equipment, (thus necessitating that major military operations for toppling the Hussein regime take all of three weeks rather than the hoped for two) and he continues to fail them by relying on a military solution to violence that requires a political solution.(The effectiveness of said political solutions being proven throughout the entirety of the Clinton Administration, The Iraq Liberation Act of 1998, and U.N Resolutions 686, 687, 688, 949, 1060, 1051, 1115, 1134, 1154, 1194, 1205, and 1284)

When the President announced the current troop surge, he claimed it would be limited in size and duration. We have now sent nearly 30,000 troops as part of the surge (that would be the “limited size” part of the surge, Senator), and still the President says we must wait longer for results (actual military operations of the surge commenced June 19, Senator. General Petraeus was given at least until September to officially report on the results of the new counter-insurgency strategy. Patience Senator. Patience.) It’s obvious that the surge has failed. (Courage, perseverance, forbearance, vision … you’ll get none of that here. My good Senator I recommend you spend some time with the following: http://www.victorycaucus.com/, http://www.michaelyon-online.com/, http://www.mudvillegazette.com/ among many others.)

Violence continues unabated in Baghdad and has spread across the country. (Even your own media isn’t claiming this anymore, Senator.) The political progress that was supposed to accompany the surge has yet to materialize. (Perhaps your constant calls for abandoning the process play a role in this?) The promised reconciliation between religious and ethnic groups, the restructuring of the oil industry, and other basic reforms and benchmarks have yet to be achieved. (And with your help Senator, and that of your Lefty associates, they never will be.) As long as our troop commitment remains open-ended, and we continue to fight their civil war for them, the Iraqis will have no incentive to make the hard political choices necessary. (My dear Senator, are you insinuating that open-ended government programs breed in people an unhealthy dependence upon government? Better strike that line before Al-MoveOn gets wind of it.)

We have given the President every opportunity to show progress, (and, might I add, you have been most gracious and respectful in doing so) but our soldiers face an increasingly violent and deadly insurgency. (Well actually, that’s not true at this point Senator, owing to the surge which you indicate has “failed.”) Congress and the American people have lost faith in the Administration’s competence and its ability to manage the war. (That’s not entirely true either, Senator. Perhaps you should visit Vets for Freedom, as well as virtually any of the four million plus conservative blogs and websites on the Internet.) It’s time to change course in Iraq. (Why are we headed for a bridge or something? OCC – Obligatory Chappaquiddick Cheap shot ™.)

The President must listen to Congress and the American people, begin to withdraw our troops from Iraq, and develop a serious plan to move forward. (Yes thereby ushering America into an era of demoralization, decline, and defenselessness matched only by the post-Vietnam surrender nightmare.)

Again, thank you for sharing your views on the war. (My pleasure, Senator) I’ll continue to do all I can in Congress to see that our forces are withdrawn (But that wasn’t among the views you just thanked me for sharing with you, Senator) and that our nation adopts a competent and attainable policy for Iraq. (Excellent. You’ll be resigning then?)

Sincerely, (Oh this means a great deal coming from the likes of you, Senator)

Edward M. Kennedy

Senator, I conclude with a quote from Sir Winston Churchill, from which your own brother borrowed liberally (and to great effect) in his inaugural address. I ask that you, and all who agree with you, consider these words and the Spirit behind them before issuing your next bleatings for surrender:

"We have surmounted all the perils and endured all the agonies of the past. We shall provide against and thus prevail over the dangers and problems of the future, withhold no sacrifice, grudge no toil, seek no sordid gain, fear no foe. All will be well. We have, I believe, within us the life-strength and guiding light by which the tormented world around us may find the harbour of safety, after a storm-beaten voyage."

—Sir Winston Churchill, November 9, 1954

Cheers,

Charlie

www.churchillsparrot.com

*Who is this parrot and why is he blogging and writing Senators? See my STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

In the name of all that is just, equal, and above all FAIR, our champions of same (i.e. the Lefties) have courageously proffered the re-instatement of the Fairness Doctrine. So doing would ensure that the rabid, blood-thirsty, hate-mongering of talk radio be always tempered by equal portions of principled Progressivism. While the Fairness Fairies were dealt a slight blow, earlier this month, they, nonetheless, persist undaunted.

Thus far, the Fairness Fairies have primarily focused their efforts on sanitizing talk radio. Recent developments, however, have brought to light the urgent need for extending the Fairness Doctrine’s glorious leveling blades deep into ALL forms of public expression.

For example, The New Republic, having published a series of utterly fabricated articles intended solely to slander the character of the United States Military , would – were the Fairness Doctrine in place – be now required to run a nice story about our men and women in uniform handing out pencils or something; possibly even a retraction of the aforementioned stories and an admission that they were penned by the editor’s seventeen year old dope supplier. (We shall not hold our breath.)

As it was, however, a vast army of Right-Wing bloggers were required to reveal that the stories were, in fact, complete and utter rubbish. While some might argue this is a good thing – the market of ideas in the hands of free people regulating itself – we see this rather as further evidence of the dire need for swift and ruthless implementation of the Fairness Doctrine.

For while it is roundly understood that Rush Limbaugh is the source of all that is evil and horrid, merely neutralizing him and his cronies will not suffice. There are magazines to monitor and regulate, thousands of them. There is television. Thousands of newspapers across the land, literally millions of blogs, billboards, direct mail, telemarketing campaigns, door-to-door advocacy groups, bumper stickers, signs on buses, aircraft banners, yard signs, table tents at restaurants, posters, flyers, pamphlets, fortune cookies, and loon-cakes walking the streets shouting their unbalanced opinions – all often going unopposed.

This will not do. Is it fair that a man on his morning commute might encounter a bumper sticker reading, “F%#$*@# BUSH!” No. Is it fair that a woman picking her children up from work might hear Sean Hannity declare, “The Fairness Doctrine is an all out affront to the First Amendment plain and simple!” No. What is wanted is a wave of the legislative wand to make all this turmoil and unfairness go away, removing forever the scourge of critical thinking from the busy personal agendas of the American people.

Fairness Fairies, it’s a big job you’ve got before you. But with your eyes on the prize of fairness (and your hands on the controls of the tank), we are confident you will succeed in restoring fairness and civility to political discourse amongst the American people, even if you have to kill every last one of them to do it.

Cheers,

Charlie
http://www.churchillsparrot.com/

Scientists and loon-twizzlers alike have long sought to articulate a functional “Theory of Everything” which explains and accounts for everything. Tidy thought, but thus far a fruitless search. Nonetheless, for Lefties, a political Theory of Everything was forwarded once again yesterday by the indefatigable Professor Feingold D-Wisconsin. In short – Everything is George Bush’s Fault.

This is nothing new. If anything good can be said about Professor Feingold it is that he is consistent, which – for a Leftie – is actually saying quite a lot. Naturally, being a Lefty, that consistency is that of a plane hurtling toward the Earth; should it prove successful, the results would mean disaster for all.

We have corresponded with Professor Feingold on these matters before. In my post Today’s Lesson: No Retreat, No Surrender I liken the Professor’s political resolve in the face of the stunning loss of his Feingold-Reid bill (the Lefty’s first serious attempt to cut off funding for Operation Iraqi Freedom) to that of Bushie’s. The Professor evidently did not see nor appreciate my observation, nor my numerous refutations of his numerous hair-brained claims and accusations regarding American efforts in the War on Terror.

As Senator McConnell R-Kentucky concluded yesterday on CNN’s Late Edition, "I think it's safe to say Russ Feingold is not a fan of George Bush.”

In the argot of today’s youth, “Word.”

Cheers,

Charlie
www.churchillsparrot.com

A bold and decisive measure was taken last week in the Left’s tireless campaign to secure the annihilation of Western Civilization. British curriculum advisors have deemed irrelevant the person of Sir Winston Churchill - words, deeds legacy and all - to their vision of a proper 21st century curriculum for the children of England. They have advocated then the removal of Sir Winston from the list of figures secondary school children must learn about.

Doing so will evidently clear up valuable class time for far more urgent issues such as global warming, the ravages of drug and alcohol abuse, and how to practice sexual promiscuity and not have your genitals turned into carrion.

Naturally there remain one or two individuals who protest as patently absurd the removal of the single most vital human being to 20th century England - and one of the most significant in all British history, not to mention Western Civilization - from English history books. But such thinking is clearly out of fashion, and likely to fail.

For more than forty years the Lefties have – via school, story, and song - incrementally diminished, distorted, and discredited Western Civilization’s contributions to the human story so successfully that now the suggestion of removing Sir Winston Churchill from school history curricula is regarded a matter of serious debate. Clearly it is only a matter of time until (if not already) our progeny will have lost all will to defend their cultural inheritance as they will believe whole-heartedly it is nothing worth defending.

But that isn’t enough. Our children deserve better. Therefore, for their sake, we recommend these curriculum advisors not stop at half-measures, but proceed full Monty. If our children are to be charged with surrendering our entire history and way of life to the highest bidder, we should at least better prepare them for the task. An aggressive regimen of pro-Caliphate coursework ought be immediately introduced into elementary, middle, and secondary schools (most colleges and universities already provide such programs) throughout England and the United States. Recommended areas of focus include:
* The Qur’an
* Arabic Languages
* Shari’a 101
* The Joys of Dhimmitude
* Euroabia Today
* Those Cursed Jews
* Beheading Basics
* The Evils of Christianity
* IEDs for Beginners
* The Evils of Capitalism
* Suicide Vests with Sass!
* The Evils of England
* Crafting Really Scary Threats
* The Evils of America
* The Evils of All That Is Not Islam … and more!

Prepared in this way, our children and our children’s children will fare far better, poised for success in the global Caliphate the Lefties are so eager to help our Islamaniac brethren establish.

Cheers,

Charlie
www.churchillsparrot.com